Wednesday, September 28, 2011

alone and heart

a random post to express something truly deep inside from my heart.
no second thought, just speak it out.

deep in me, i am a loner. why?
I, myself do not know.
yes, it's pathetic.

from me to you,
i want you to be happy,
to know yourselves,
to feel full. not empty.

being lonely made me to start wondering,
to wonder far away,
some of my dearests have left me,
wondering when will i join them,
in what situation,
only He know.

alone in my little space,
triggers me that there are still people who loves me,
waiting for me, wanting to see me,
can i still meet them?

alone in this way,
just made me to re-read all sms in my phone,
i still have elder sisters those love me,
wanting me to be healthy, happy,
and with no worries.

being lonely,
i realise that i still have my family,
abah and ibu,
whose love are infinite for me,
no boundaries,
even if i've hurted them,
they love me.

while being alone,
a glimpse on photo frames on this desk,
searching for the warmth in the eyes,
to accompany me in this coldness.

being alone, yes, sometimes made us alive. to keep motivating ourselves. to remind us what we have lost and what we still posses. appreciate what you have.

dear abg cik, 
ya sangat rindukan abg cik. during my departure dat day, i thought of you. if you are still with us, you will come to see me, aren't you? i am sorry for not being able to see you at your last moment. we miss you.

Induction Programme

hari ni, hari kedua pergi induction programme.
waa!!! i'm alone. what i mean is in my course, i'm pretty sure that i'm the only malaysian.
susahla nak chit chat. huhu.
my current course is biomedical sciences with business.

baru sat td check e-mail from uni,
ada lah e-mail related to my programme.
lau tak silap, ada 5 orang je in  my course.
biomedical sciences ramai la, tapi with business, only 5!

doakan saya boleh cope yer!
amin. insyaAllah, nadia boleh!

teringat lirik lagu,
"jika kau fikirkan kau boleh, kau menghampiri kejayaan"
"jika kau fikirkan ragu-ragu, usahamu tidak menentu"


take care!

Monday, September 26, 2011

the new environment

long time no see, dear friends. it's not that i don't want to meet you but it's just the mood is not coming. :P

last 22 september 2011, i flew away from Malaysia with a mixed feeling.
sad to leave my loved ones, worrying if i will still meet them again, thinking about my life without them in the new place, thoughts never leave my mind, made me to keep thinking.

-thinking so many things have made me realised. No Pain No Gain.
- I need to sacrifice something, leaving my loved ones far away, to gain more knowledge.
- I pray that Allah keep my beloveds in good health. i want to meet them again.

long time before i took this path, i've already left my family for boarding school, but this time, it really takes a lot of time to realise they are so far away.

although abah couldn't come to send me at the airport, i could feel your presence abah. i know that you really love me as much as i love you.

dear ibu, i love you so much. i am sorry for the wrongs that i've done. i didn't mean to hurt your feelings. i love you so much. no one can replace you in my life. thank you for being a really wonderful mother. i promise you i'll go back in the summer holiday. insyaAllah.

to others, i really love you guys. it's just that i don't know how to express it. thank you for coming and giving me the moral supports. thank you.

to muhamad nazmi. i am sorry for not being able to talk to you that night. you know i want to right? i am sorry. thank you so much for coming. i heart you a lot.