Saturday, June 2, 2012

Aku

Kenapa hati keci ini semakin resah?
Aku tidak mampu untuk terus menahan kesakitan ini.
Rasa keseorangan.


Ya, aku mengaku. Itu risiko belajar di rantau orang.
Aku terpaksa sedar tentang risiko itu.
Kau? Kau pernah alami perasaan ini ke?
Cakap memang senang. 


Kau ingat aku suka rasa keseorangan.
Tiada sesiapa ingin berborak di kala petang.
Tiada sesiapa yang boleh membantu aku saat aku memerlukan kawan.
Kerja kau? Kau hanya pandai berkata-kata.
Kau ingat aku suka?
Kau ingat aku tidak tahu?


Kau fikirlah.
Kau mempunyai ramai kawan di sekeliling kau.
Cakap memang senang. Adat belajar luar negara.
Cuba kau letakkan diri kau di tempat aku.
Aku yakin kau juga akan berkata-kata seperti aku.


Aku sedar diriku tidak kuat.
Aku sedar diriku perlukan rakan-rakan.
Aku perlukan sokongan.
Apa yang aku mampu hanya menangis kepadaNYA.
Aku tahu ada hikmah di sebalik peraturanNYA.


Aku tidak pandai menipu perasaan.
Aku tidak tahu untuk berlakon depan orang ramai.
Itulah aku.
Walaupun mungkin orang akan menyuarakan yang aku tidak matang, itulah aku.


Kau ingat aku tidak berusaha?
Kau ingat aku suka sakitkan diri?
Kau ingat aku sengaja cari masalah?




Ya Allah, 
Kau kuatkanlah hati hambaMu ini,
Hanya Engkau yang mengetahui isi hatiku.
Bantulah hambaMu yang lemah ini. 


tulus dari hati,

Friday, April 27, 2012

Hati

salam.

lately, rasa tak tenang.
jiwa kacau. mood senang terganggu.
tak tahu nak expect apa.
tapi diri ni sedar kelemahan.
diri ni cuba belajar menjadi kuat,
tapi..

diri ni perlukan sokongan.
bantuan dari sekeliling.

YA. berjauhan dengan keluarga,
keseorangan di rantau orang,
aku sedar risiko itu,
sedar sejak berkeputusan melanjutkan ke luar negara.

aku percaya kepada-MU YA ALLAH.
ada hikmahMU di sebalik setiap keputusanku,
aku senantiasa berharap kepadaMU YA ALLAH,
bimbinglah diriku agar sentiasa bersamaMU.

sesungguhnya aku takut,
aku takut, aku takut,
keputusanku membawaku ke arah yang lain.

YA ALLAH,
sekiranya inilah yang terbaik untukku,
KAU kuatkanlah hatiku,
KAU teguhkanlah imanku,
KAU bantulah aku melawani nafsuku,
KAU tabahkanlah hati kecilku.
sesungguhnya aku tidak mampu berbuat apa2 tanpaMU.


Thursday, April 26, 2012

a quick update

a quick update.

lagi sebulan lebih je nak cuti musim panas. tapi.......
aku belum beli tiket. huhu..

harap-harap nanti ada lah rezeki dapat tiket harga reasonable.

Ya Allah. bantulah hambaMu ini.
diri ini sangat merindui keluarga tersayang,
rinduku tak dapat dibendung lagi,
tangisku tidak tertahan lagi..

Sesungguhnya, Ya Allah, 
hanya Dikau yang mengetahui hatiku.
Makbulkanlah doaku. 
AMIN.



Monday, April 9, 2012

Proving

words do not prove anything, so WHAT DOES??

YOUR ACTION!

don't simply say or blurt out words you wanted to say. don't just think that by putting words nicely, sweetly, people can believe you. no such damn, foolish people will do so. YOU, get out of your mind to trick someone. and please, don't think that I, is the same as, YOU!

I will not give a slight tiny chance to let myself being fooled by people like you.

Yes, I admit that I'm arrogant, so what?
If you don't like me, don't come into my life.
I don't need people who only love to give words but not proving.

understood?

from the heart of,

Monday, March 19, 2012

My Wish

I wish you well and happy.
Take care.
If,
one day we'll be meeting again,
I know that I will shed the tears I've been holding.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Perempuan



Salam.

Perempuan sememangnya mempunyai naluri 'POSSESSIVE'. Seorang perempuan, saya percaya, tidak ada seorang pun yang suka berkongsi apa-apa yang disayangi dan dihargainya. Saya yakin itu. Secara tidak langsung, sebagai seorang perempuan, YES, saya terasa. Saya mengakui bahawa diri saya POSSESSIVE terhadap semua yang saya sayangi. Termasuklah keluarga dan perhubungan.


Rasa cam lawak la sign ni. :X

Dah. Malas nak cakap pasal tu lagi.

Chopp. Sapa yang baca ni, harap bagi pendapat, sebab ngah wat survey. HAHA. Kalau korang sebagai seorang perempuan, korang sanggup ke musnahkan perhubungan orang lain? Korang dah tahu dorang ni telah bersama bertahun-tahun, korang sanggup ke jadi orang ke-3? Lain ceritanya kalau korang tidak tahu-menahu pasal perhubungan dorang.

Sila bagi pendapat anda. PLEASE.......

Bye bye now. :-)
With a really touch-the-heart book, and flowers in Nunsmoor Park


sincerely,

Saturday, March 10, 2012

DON'T!

Ini ditujukan kepada manusia itu.

YOU please do 



I have been holding so long! 
Don't make me do something on you.



Kau! Tolonglah. BEHAVE!

p/s: sorry. Just need to let it out. Love you all,



Friday, March 9, 2012

Momentos.

Salam semua.

Nadia dah menjadi semakin teruk dan nakal ye. Budak ni dah pandai ponteng kelas. wahahaha~~~ okay. Saya sedar bahawasanye perangai ini sangatlah JAHAt. haha. Please do not try it yourselves, it will surely be dangerous. For your health and performance. LOLS.

Baru je habis sembang ngan seorang kawan yang teramatlah lucu. Kalau cakap ngan dia ni, saya mesti tergelak tak ingat dunia, plus, saya akan dapat info yang bermacam bagai.

"Sebab kaulah, aku tergelak. Thanks friend!"

Tadi before kitorang borak, saya skype ngan my family. Kakteh datang rumah. Abang teh pon ada ngan syahmina dan haziq. Kitorang bervideo-calling lah sampai masanya keluarga kesayangan saya ni nak dinner.
Then, kakteh cakap, " Auntie, jomlah makan sekali."
Saya pun, " Tak pe lah. Makanlah dulu."
Tetiba, adik datang dan bawak laptop tunjuk lauk-lauk yang terhidang di atas meja makan. Tanpa perlu disuruh, saya dengan pantasnya kira berapa lauk yang ada. Satu, dua,...., lima, ENAM!. Enam lauk. waaa~~~ Adik pulak cakap, " Ni sambal tempe." mau jugak nangis di tatkala itu.
Lepas itu, terdengar suara garau," Meh. Meh makan nasi dagang ni." Nyata ada gurauan di situ. Siapakah empunya suara? Jawapannya: Abang teh. Suami kesayangan kak teh. :)

May Allah bless you guys.

Saya pon jawab, " Ye la, kat sini xde nasi dagang. Orang buat nasi ayam je semalam. Then, seniors cakap sedap." Saya gelak. haha. "Fine la. Makanlah. Orang merajuk dah. Haha." Dorang tergelak sama. Kemudian, saya berkata, "Korang makanlah dulu. Got works to do. Bye." Lantas, tutup video. Padahal, hati sedih nak makan sama. ;(

Enough of that. Ni nasi ayam yang saya masak semalam. :))

complete set okay. :P

ni cheff DYA.
I'm a such cam-girl. not a whore. haha
Sayonara!!


Missing,

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Worry

Asalamualaikum. Apa khabar? Hendaklah sihat selalu. :)

Tetiba terasa rindu kat sini. Dalam dilemma sebenarnya. Nak pergi ke tak? tiket dah beli, tapi rasa berat hati. Tak tahu napa. ;(

by the way, I'm determined to lose the weight I gained since I arrived in UK, during the winter holidays. I'm really going to lose it. at a reasonable rate. I'm not going to do diet. I will just increase my activity levels. Please. I wanna be like myself before the departure. HAHA.

Am I worrying things too much? I'm afraid I'll be having cyst again. This arose when I had a very painful period pain this month. Is it possible for it to develop again? I hope it will not. :(

trying with the scarf style. :)
Look at my 'pipi'. My mom cakap TEMBAM! *sobs*

lots of love,

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Unlogical Relation

Sometimes, other people seems to know you better than your closed friends. Sometimes, even you, yourselves do not know what to do, and indeed, you doubt your action.

Sometimes, an old friend who you rarely contact is the one who helps you rather than the person you often keep in touch. It just seems to be not in logical sequence. Why?

Sometimes, simple words like " Jaga diri" said sincerely is far more better than, " Jangan nangis". Words really play their part in influencing our emotions. Right?

Sometimes, when you are hoping for someone to be with you, comforting you, wishing that the pain will go away, but it ends with nothing. Another person will come to help you.To calm you down. Why?

Sometimes, there are no reasons for us to keep in touch. However, we always do. Why?
Sometimes, there is no absolute answer for a question, but we will always answer it. Right?

There's too much sometimes and things those I couldn't understand at all.


PMS

Salam semua,

Hari ni, mood tidak menentu. Ntah pape je. Pharmacology test besok. Revision tak habis lagi. HAHA.
Saya ponteng kelas hari ni. Sebab sakit perempuan. Da siap semua da pakai baju dan tudung. Tetibe lak, sakitlah perut, sakitlah perut, tambah sakit pinggang. Terus terbaring atas katil dengan bertudungnye. huhu.

Dugaan orang perempuan kan? Masa sakit-sakit camni, emosi perempuan senang berubah. Ko jangan terkezut lak kalau tetiba perempuan yang ko kenal, mood dia berubah drastik. Seriously, this really happens. I said this because I already experienced this. Benda ni pon turut berlaku pada diri sendiri. Tak pasal-pasal, tengah-tengah happy tetiba jadi moody, then nanges sorang-sorang. Bukan diri yang tak perfect ni je pernah kan? I bet most girls out there, also experience this.

Hari itu, blogwalking kat a famous blogger and vlogger ni. Tetiba ternampaklah vlog dia yang cakap sal benda ni. JOM LAYAN jap. i loike her~~



credit to : Maria Elena

Diriku

Aku sedar diriku.
Aku sedar yang aku tidak mampu menjadi orang lain.
Aku sedar aku tidaklah sempurna.
Aku sedar bahawasanya diriku tidak mempunyai apa-apa.
Aku tidak seperti orang lain,
mampu bergelak ketawa ketika hati sedang bersedih.
Aku tidaklah seperti mereka,
yang mampu mengawal perasaan.

Ya. Aku sedar kelemahanku.
Aku sedar itu.
Tapi,
aku hanya mampu menjadi diriku.
Aku tidak mampu bertahan,
sekiranya berterusan disakiti.
Aku tidak mampu meneruskan,
sekiranya hatiku tidak kuat.
Aku hanya mampu menangis.
kerana bagiku, air mata adalah kekuatanku, kelemahanku.

Menjadi diriku,

Monday, February 20, 2012

 I wish your dreams will come true.
May happiness will always be with you.
May the sadness flies away with the wind.
So that, you will always smile the sweetest smile you have.
Take care.



Thursday, February 9, 2012

Me to You


Dear you,

Happy Birthday. I wish you a very blissful one. Make sure that your a year older is not only getting older, you must getting better. a year older, a year better, okay, my pakcik? :)

The birthday boy is the big guy in the picture ;P
my pakcik with mukhriz~~
mukhriz comellll!!!! <3<3



Okay. I was defeated by mak. Mak hantar mesej awal sangatlah. haha. comel kan mak?

Have a very happy day, I really wish to celebrate it with you. We haven't celebrated each others birthday right? pity us~~

 I'm sorry for everything I've done before. What I truly wish that both of us will now be getting more matured and stronger. No more hard feelings okay?

What I actually want to say is that I MISS YOU, boy. haha.

For what I've done before, 
For what mean things I've said to you,
For what behaviours I made you suffered,
For anything that I have done,
that makes you sad, angry, mad, etc.
I AM SORRY.

but don't forget that you owed me something, prince. A very precious one. :)

you will be happy right?

a video for you. of course, from Youtube. see you, love.


Take care, my Spiderman. 
Hope you will get stronger, healthier and ours will always be strengthened whatever happens. 
Do try your best okay? You know what I mean.
and THANKS for skype-ing with me. sorry to cause you to sleep at 3 a.m.
thank you from my heart <3

this post is meant to be on 9th February. :)

lots of love,
me testing a pose. LOLS. fine. jgn 


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Full Moon

Seeing the full moon, made me to realise that time really flies.
Anything can change. As HE please.

Suddenly, I remembered something. The FULL MOON. Reminded me of time, back when I was still immatured?. LOLS. But yes, seriously, I do miss them. The eyes. Shining like the full moon. I heart the eyes so much. Really want to see the eyes again. In real.

I pray that I can still meet the eyes those remind me of the full moon. Amin.

SEE YOU.

Have full class from 9a.m to 5p.m tomorrow. Gotta be strong. :)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

No Good

Asalamualaikum.

Currently, I'm feeling so inferior and helpless. I am no good in so many things. I wish to be like everybody else. You guys are so confident, so outspoken. I want to be like you guys. Whenever I feel this way, I can't help myself but crying. I know it's weak but I am only me. I can't help but being me.

First week of classes made me realised that this semester will not be the same as the previous semester. Myself, also have been changed a little bit. Maybe physically, but what I mean is emotionally. I really miss the moments in KYUEM. where Diamonders will be there for others when someone needs support. Yeah, I know that I must grow up. I KNOW IT. but... seriously, I do not know how to let go of the past. The past are always with me wherever I go. I know there are others who are in worse condition than I am right now.

YA ALLAH,
Please help your servant to be strong.
to be a better person,
to be a new one. Please, help me.
I'm helpless.

I wish all of you a good day. :)



Sunday, February 5, 2012

Maulidur Rasul

Salam Maulidur Rasul.

Walaupun entry ni agak lambat, the siprit is still in ourselves. Pada tarikh 12 Rabiul Awal, Rasulullah s.a.w, nabi junjungan kita semua telah dilahirkan. Baginda yang sentiasa menyayangi ummat Baginda. Kita? Apa yang telah kita lakukan untuk Baginda?

Yang termampu, kita haruslah berpegang teguh kepada Islam dan mengamalkan sunnah-sunnah yang telah ditinggalkan Baginda. InsyaAllah. Perbanyakkan selawat ke atas Rasulullah dalam doa harian kita semua. Ingatlah betapa kasihnya Baginda terhadap kita semua. Kita janganlah lupakan Baginda. Marilah kita bersama-sama menjadikan Rasulullah sebagai kekasih kita. InsyaAllah.

Meh kita baca selawat ke atas Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. :) 


Itu saja. Jom lah kita sama2 mendoakan diri kita semua dan saling mendoakan agar kita diberi petunjuk serta hidayahNYA. Semoga hari kita semua berjalan lancar dan bertambah lebih baik. 

"SMILE AND GET YOURSELF TOGETHER"

me,

Thursday, February 2, 2012

My Day

Salam.

Trying my best not to sleep so early. Why? Just want to practise it out. So that, MAYBE, in the future, I can use the after-so-early-sleep hours to study. Maybe. A resolution? tak terpikir plak. haha

Right now, the time is already 12.44 a.m. Yesterday, at this time, I was already asleep. Most people do right? I am forcing myself not to sleep even though, I have been yawning so many times. Here, it goes again. haha. Why? Some people may know the valid reason why I do this. :)

I have attended my first English class here, in Newcastle. It was pretty fun. To get to mingle with other people from different countries and different level of study. Being with people with different nationality made me feel that I'm not alone. What I' trying to say is that I'm not the only one having this problem. Many postgrads experience it too, thus, i must learn it. One of classmates that has become my acquaintance today is Mariana. She is from Portugal. She is very beautiful. We also talked to another girl, Caroline, who is from China. and I met Linh, from Vietnam. They are so lovely. At first, we were forced to talk but then, we chatted till the lecturer had to stop us. haha. Everybody laughed.:))

tetiba, teringat, yang lecturer tu time dia nak call out student names. Time my name, she said, " This is the longest name I ever read. Muhamad Mokhtar Siti Zulaikha............." , I replied, "YUPP!" with a giggle. lols. She said, " you have a very long name."Smiling. Xdela panjang sgt. Jadi panjang sebab nama abah pon dua. kan?? Esok bday abah! I must call home tomorrow!

My lovely February, you love me right? I love you too. So be nice to me and others okay?

lots of love,

Friday, January 27, 2012

Nightmare

Waking up at 9.30a.m this morning, hoping for a better day cause I have nightmares. Who loves nightmares? Everyone hates it, so am I. Crying in your sleep because of the intense fright. Who likes to be in frightened state?? Kalau ada orang cmtu, kena jumpa psychologist tu. haha.Betol tak? Korang suka ke dalam keadaan ketakutan?
 Contoh:
- korang nampak benda yang korang takut sangat?
- tetibe, korang dapat tahu kesihatan korang semakin teruk
- kononnye orang kesayangan korang hilang dalam hutan?
- korang diculik dan diugut bunuh.

Apa yang korang rasa?

Takut kan?
Boleh ke kita mimpi something sebab kita nak. Maksudnye, the dream is pre-set before the sleep. Example: nak mimpi balik Malaysia. Kita akan mimpi ke? wonders~

Mimpi tu sebenarnya apa? Macam mana mimpi boleh berlaku?

yang tertanya-tanya,

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Today's and Yesterday's :)

Asalamualaikum semua.

Td, saya tengok video Ustaz Harun Din bertemu Rasulullah s.a.w. Sebak. Menitis air mata tanpa disedari. Memikirkan diri yang sangatlah tidak sempurna. Malunya di akhirat nanti. Kita selalu lupakan Rasul tapi Rasulullah sentiasa memikirkan umatnya. Di saat kewafatan Baginda, Baginda masih memikirkan umat. sungguh sayang Rasulullah kepada kita semua. Tapi apa yang kita lakukan? Kita lalai. Sesetengah manusia sanggup menolak hadis Baginda. Menolak sunnah-sunnah Rasulullah. Sedih bukan? Apa yang telah kita lakukan?


Sama-samalah kita memotivasikan diri. InsyaAllah.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Re-motivate

Salam semua.

I finished my last paper for this term. Only three papers, but the feeling is like : what???!! Sometimes, I laughed at myself. Terfikir sejenak. Aku baru belajar sedikit, baru satu bidang. Teringat ilmuwan ulung Islam. Bukan setakat satu bidang, berbidang-bidang kot diorang kuasai. Bukan hanya belajar. tapi KUASAI. So, moivate balik diri sendiri. Jangan fikir negatif. Be positive. InsyaAllah. He will help. :)

Allah tidak akan menguji kita sekiranya kita tidak mampu, bukan? Anggaplah apa-apa musibah dan dugaan yang berlaku terhadap diri ialah ujian daripadaNya.

Manusia sentiasa lupa. Insan. Tugas kita untuk mengingati dan menasihati sesama lain. Janganlah bersikap tidak matang. Hanya mengeluarkan kata-kata mengikut perasaan. Tapi sebagai manusia, kita mudah lupa. (Nasihat juga ditujukan kepada diri sendiri. kena batang hidung kot!) So, meh la kita saling menasihati ye. Tegurlah dengan cara baik. >_<


بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Dengan menyebut nama ALLAH Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Penyayang

وَالْعَصْرِ
(1) Demi masa.

إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ
(2) Sesungguhnya manusia itu benar-benar dalam kerugian.

إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَات
 وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ 
وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ
(3) Kecuali orang-orang yang beriman & mengerjakan amal soleh,
dan mereka saling menasihati supaya mentaati kebenaran
serta saling menasihati supaya menetapi kesabaran.



Peace-no-war,

Friday, January 20, 2012

Seriously, man.

hi there.

Salam.

Today, I finished my Genetics paper. waaa~ (rasa cam nak bergolek kat lantai, sedih~). After the paper, I went to Newcastle town, just nearby the campus. To release the disappointment, anger, and whatever feelings I have that time, I went shopping and eating. Lols. At first, I was just thinking to be a window-shopper, BUT, lastly, I bought so, so, many things. Why does this happen? Cause My Love, Mr. Genetics, has given a very, very hard time to me. Seriouslyyyyyy, man! 


tiba-tiba teringat . Masa nak keluar dewan tadi, ramai yang mengeluh. "It was damn hard", " Seriously, it was very hard!", yang paling tak boleh blah nye, ada seorang kawan perempuan ni. Dia jerit, " It was F**KING HARD, man!". Time tu jugak, rasa nak gelak campur nak nangis. Memang susah. :-(. I have given my efforts in answering all those freaking questions and now, I just put all of my efforts to be settled by HIM. Tawakkal to Allah.


Enough of that.


I read about someone who cried because of a friend. She told in her post. She said that she was unintentionally yelled at her friend. She just raised her voice to call her friend because she needed her to do works together. She is working as a cashier, together with her friend. She needed to sum up the total sale before going back but her friend wanted to leave her doing the work alone. That's why she called her using loud voice, after calling her in an appropriate way many times. Then, back at home, she checked her phone and got a message from that friend. The friend said that, " Ko memang berlagak pandai", and others. She cried. The friend is close to her. Reading her post, I can really know that she loves that friend. I hope that she will get stronger and solve this problem. Be strong, sweetheart.


To cry because of a friend. What do you guys think?


For me, in this case, the friend should really think why that girl called her using that way. It is also your job, Not hers alone.
In general, I tell you that I have cried so many times because friends. It is because I love my friends so much. I can't afford losing my friends except those who annoy me too much. lols.

Lastly, I want to share a video about Newcastle University and the theme song for Newcastle.
Enjoy. do watch it okay! Love you!



this is my campus. :)




p/s:

a new input to me. Surah Al-Imran ayat 37:

[37]
Maka ia (Maryam yang dinazarkan oleh ibunya) diterima oleh Tuhannya dengan penerimaan yang baik, dan dibesarkannya dengan didikan yang baik, serta diserahkannya untuk dipelihara oleh Nabi Zakaria. Tiap-tiap kali Nabi Zakaria masuk untuk menemui Maryam di Mihrab, ia dapati rezeki (buah-buahanan yang luar biasa) di sisinya. Nabi Zakaria bertanya:” Wahai Maryam dari mana engkau dapati (buah-buahan) ini?” Maryam menjawab; “Ialah dari Allah, sesungguhnya Allah memberikan rezeki kepada sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya dengan tidak dikira”.

>> There's nothing impossible to Him. Bayangkan tiba-tiba kat tepi kita, ada makanan. Wah. Hebatnya Allah. SubhanAllah. Masya-Allah. There's a senior who adds another story, although Allah can easily give Maryam 'rezeki' just like that, He asked Maryam to at least to shake the date tree to make the dates fall. Think about this, He can just make the dates fall to Maryam without needing her effort.but why He asked her to do that? In my point of view, maybe Allah want to let us know, that He will give us the best when we put our efforts in. This applies to most of things in our life. Isn't it? Will we hope for miracle when we do nothing to have it? I think no one will.

That's all. See you. Insya-Allah.

love,

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Going MAD!!!!!



Just want to write a short post. I have an inner-self conflict.
Seriously, to that person, stop being childish. Be mature please! Your words, every of them, are just making you look like a very immatured person!!!

Please la. Stop talking about what you want like seriously, " I don't care". It is not effective. The way you react only made you pathetic. Is it the word? huh. whatever.

You, person, will never have my sympathy anymore. You have lied to me about the truth. You told me rubbish. and, PLEASE, PLEASE stop what are you doing now. I have not said anything mean to you yet. so please, don't make me say it on your face. PLEASE STOP IT!


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Personality

Salam.

Tinggal beberapa hari sahaja lagi untuk diriku menghadapi the first paper of Biochemistry. Ya Allah. Kuatkanlh diriku untuk mengharungi peperiksaan ini. Kau sihatkanlah tubuh badanku serta mindaku.

I've taken some personality tests. They can be easily found on the internet. Yes, I am a very sensitive person.
Ini rekaan semata-mata, but the answer is truth.




Kalau ada psychologist, maybe diorang akan tanya camni.

  1.  Do you easily get irritated by others' words?
    • Answer: Yes. (with nods)
    2.   Are you aware that your emotions can quickly change from happy to sad?
    • Answer : Yes. ( with a little laugh)
    3.   Do you still remember the slightest sad memory that you experienced when you were in primary school?
    • Answer : Yes, yes. ( water flooded my eyes)
   4.   Have you ever cried without a reason and you realised it?
    • Answer : Yup. 
   5.   Are you crying right now?
    •  Answer: No. ( but tears fall down)
   6.  Tell me. Are you thinking about your beloveds right now?
    • Answer : Uhem.. 
   7.  You have lost someone whom you loved so dearly. Am I right?
    • Answer: Yeah. My brother -in-law. ( i thought this pro was a psychic)
   8.  If someone yell at you with a sudden, you will shed your tears. If someone gets angry with you, you can't help yourself but crying. Correct?
    • Answer: Seriously, it happened. Am I very sensitive?
Then, they will try to say like this;
- Yes, you are. 
- But you realised the problem, and that's why you are here with me.
- You want to get rid of this feeling. 
- You do not have to worry about this.
- It is because of your hormonal imbalance, and your psychology behaviour.
- I'm sorry to ask this." Did you, by chance, in the past, experience something that makes you extremely sad? I  mean a shocking moment." Again, I nodded and will start to cry. Specifically, I will weep.

mata budak ni lawa kan. biru~~~~


5 minutes later, I will regain my calmness. They will say that, I became like this is because I experienced some traumatic moments in my life. Figured it!



Walaupun these are questions from myself, I did cry while typing this post. Why did it happen? because:


I AM A VERY SENSITIVE PERSON.
I REALISED IT!

so I am sorry for who I am. Sorry guys. 



Sayonara.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Being Mature





Hye guys!

I've been reading my old posts. There were so much memories of life. There were sadness , happiness, anxiety and even anger. haha. reading them brings my life back. My soul.

These days, yes, I admitted that I get easily irritated. I am so sorry about that. I don't know why. I'm trying my best to be matured. Soon, I'll be 12 (reads from the latter one. )

Tonight, I was annoyed. By a person who is acting immaturely. haha. I really do not know how to put in words. I have just screamed my lungs out. The level that this person annoys me is too much. Let it go, dear. You do not want to hurt yourself anymore, so be obedient to the advises given to you! Understood, baby?

Baby ni pon annoyed. haha
The annoyance level yang I dapat watching Annoying Orange pon tak boleh lawan betapa annoyed nye malam tadi. so nak kasi korang sedikit annoyance by watching this vid. im sorry!




Life in Newcastle is great. So far, so good. Alhamdulillah, I'm managing myself pretty well.(at least for myself). and!!!! I'm able to cook a great feast now. I'm pretty proud of myself. Ibu said that she's proud of her daughter too, who was once, not able to cook at all. haha. Love ya, mom!

Examination is coming really fast. I am not yet finished with the stuff to be revised. *breathing hard* I'm suffocated. It's not totally about the exams, but other matters as well.

I wanna share a quote that really touch my heart. To get the meaning of it.
To truly love something, you must first give it a chance to fail. If it survives, it is going to be stronger than ever. Distance is pure proof of this, and forever we will love if we survive.
Maybe there is more hurdles and challenges other than the distance. It is somewhat we don't really sure about it. In this matter of love, I'll always pray to Him, that He will show me the right way, the right one.
Just put your love on Him. He will help. InsyaAllah. :))

missing KY. huhu

i think that's all for now. Need to shut my lappy down. see you. Good day, sweetas!

 to that someone, te echo de menos.


with lots of love,



_________________________
I added cool smileys to this message... if you don't see them go to: http://s.exps.me

Monday, January 2, 2012

2011 & 2012



Asalamualaikum.

Happy New Year! Semoga this year will be a more better than the previous year. For me., the very last minutes of 2011 and the very early hours of 2012 is filled with uncertainty. Uncertainty of myself. Conflicts with other half of me. Yes, it was very shocking. Indeed, I, nearly suffer a heart broken. haha. Thanks to my sweetest friends who are willing to hear my heart out, to be with me when i need someone, Thank you so much. I love you all.
cam myself right now. ;p

This uncertainty will never get away from my memory. I know it is a burden but to not let this thing happen again, I must be aware of it. I was really disappointed and it felt like there was a very little, tiny thorn that has scratched my heart. Even it has been discarded (cam laboratory punya word, haha), there will always be a scar. It is not the matter of how big the scar is, the important fact is, it is indeed a SCAR. no matter what, its presence cannot be avoided.

tapi kalau guna bio-oil, yang iklan tu lah, dapat hilang scar ke?

I am plainly lucky that I am still chosen. I hope it is from a pure heart. Sometimes, I laughed at myself, and I asked myself, "Nadia, are you mad? Why did this happen?" Seriously, I do not know what to say to myself. I want but I can't. I just pray to The Almighty One, that He will help me to choose the right one. Thank you Allah for showing me this thing. For giving me the chance to straighten this out. For not making it to go further. I am really grateful to you. Alhamdulillah. I assume it as a sign from You. thank you.

Maybe it was just a hurdle that I have to face. An obstacle to be tested in this real thing. Like someone said, maybe it is only an escapism. Presumably, it's true. Cause I do not want to make this things more complicated. A person said to me, that yours will be much better. That yours is pure. Are they true? Only my heart knows.

In Manchester. with sis Eiza.


That is all, for now. Bye sweeties. :)